i hate not being in control of things (i’ve been trying my best to restrain my inner arse on this course so far and instead attempt to allow a more Kofi Annan like diplomatic persona to prevail.. basically, as long as Kofi keeps his trousers up we’ll all be fine) .. [i mean – just to clarify, i don’t like being in control of people – just myself and my surroundings, as far as possible] 

i actually *really* like working with people but not necessarily when it comes to creative stuff. Unless i pick my collaborators or have some significant chunk of say in the matter i *always* prefer working alone .. so the idea of getting chucked into a group of 6 unknown people with potentially completely different: outlooks on cinema, expectations of the course, personalities etc etc was about 3% exciting : 97% unappealing  .. but 100% necessary ..

i’m not sure entirely whether i want any part in the film industry (or any industry for that matter), but i fully acknowledge that this is a collaborative industry and in order to be trained for a role within a collaborative industry you need to be able to compromise..

there are potentially many sides to this multi-faceted (and subsequently, I’d imagine – genetically corrupted and immuno-compromised) cat.. here are two of them, a good one and a bad one:

+ / compromise is an incredible attribute to possess.. the world would be a significantly better place to live if people could acknowledge that no human had a monopoly on opinion .. i guess that’s it, compromise elevates our own opinions of others’ opinions and diminishes our readiness to brand our own thoughts ‘facts

/ in the context of creativity compromise can be a very risky, perhaps even malevolent, thing – the word takes on a whole new form; complete with cape, manic laugh and oppressive demeanour .. it can cause originality, personality, individuality to be diluted to the point where their presence is negligible.. it’s how selling out occurs . and that is naughty and bad and wrong and sad and dark and mustn’t happen kidz..


middle ground, i like middle ground, fence-sitting, foot in/foot out type stuff .. life makes sense with balance:

maybe, just maybe, to compromise is to humbly admit the possibility of our own creative fallibility whilst somehow still preserving that which makes an idea un-compromisingly original and unique .. essentially- so that the art of compromise doesn’t lead to the compromise of art


i’m sick of the bloody word now.. i’ll compra ya faakin mise mate, as Kev [*] would say.. etc etc .. musings over .. here, as a visual distraction, is a completely unrelated photo i took of a tree and a puddle in some hills in Somerset a few years ago

in other news… tomorrow the incredibly originally named 2A productions begin shooting 80p (working title) – the story of a young nerdish boy whose plans to buy his own r/c helicopter are inadvertently thwarted by the government coincidentally rising the VAT rate on the day of his meticulously planned purchase ..

the project has actually been (for the most part) really good fun, it’s been good getting to know the team, bouncing ideas around>  i’m learning when to shut up and when to speak up and i think others are too, seems like a pretty healthy project so far.. we have (what i’d consider to be) a pretty cool idea, i just hope we can do it justice and produce a little film to be proud of .. typing of which..

must go to bed, i’m a logistical lynchpin in tomorrow’s master plan of action.. i have to pick up the kit and the crew and deliver us all to location .. my time keeping is shit + logistical lynchpins need their sleep.

aiiight. night x

[* Kev does not exist outside my head, he is my overly-stereotypical cockney alter ego]